Never has a book infuriated me as much as this book.
Even now just thinking about it I can feel every hair on my head standing up in fury! The character I particularly despise can be glad that they will never come into personal contact with me with because I would have much to say to them and that of a very fruity nature.
I would generally say that I am an understanding and patient person, but here understanding and patience ends!
The novel beings by describing two very different mysteries. The first is set in the wilds of the northern Africa at a military fort and the second, set in the English countryside; involves a close knit, proper and well to do English family.
Let me describe the mysteries for you.
Mystery 1.
The Commandant of a division of the French Foreign Legions in the wilds of northern Africa receives a message that the nearby fort, Zinderneuf, is under siege by the marauding people of the land. The fort is desperately under-maned and the Commandant sets off at once with his division to try and rescue the besieged legionnaires before they are all massacred. They arrive but from the outside everything seems to be calm and quiet. There is no presence of marauding bandits and no burning fort. The Commandant breaths a sigh of relief until he notices many strange things. There is no sentry on the lookout. The soldier standing at the battlements refuse to acknowledge him and there is no answering bugle call from inside the fort. On closer inspections it is found out that every soldier on duty at the battlements is in fact dead, propped up in position to appear alive. The silence of the fort and the presence of the it's dead protectors scare the Commandant and his men. The bugler volunteers to investigate inside and he is boosted inside. Finally the Commandant also enters the fort after the bugler fails to report back. He finds that everyone in the fort is dead but it is clear the bandits were not able to force an entry. Every man is propped up on the wall except for one man who lies on the parapet with a bayonet in his chest. The Commandant is spooked and confused.
Where are the bandits?
How do dead men prop themselves against the walls?
How did a fort of dead men hold off an encroaching force?
Why is the Commander of the fort the only one dead from a bayonet wound?
Who killed the Commander? and
Where is the bugler who entered but has now disappeared?
Mystery 2.
Brothers Michael (Beau), Digby and John Geste have spent most of their childhood with their Aunt Patricia. She is a kind, childless lady married to a mean, rich man called Hector. While Aunt Patricia would like to help the poor of the region, miserly Uncle Hector holds his finances close to his chest. It is rumoured Patricia only married Hector for the gem he gave her as a wedding present. It is a huge sapphire worth at least thirty thousand pounds called the 'Blue Water'.
The brother's childhood playmates were; beautiful Claudia niece of Aunt Patrica, Isabel, Claudia's companion, and Augustus, Uncle Hector's stuck up and misunderstood nephew. Beau Geste is Aunt Patricia's favorite child and she loves his gentle commanding and moral nature.
One evening when the children are grown up they are all gathered together excepting Uncle Hector. It is requested that the sapphire be brought out to look at and they are all take turns looking and holding it. Suddenly the lights go out and when the darkness lifts the sapphire has gone. Very quickly the mood of the evening turns sour as no one admits to taking the gem and everyone falls under suspicion. Aunt Patricia is at first shocked, and then disappointed and then angry. She threatens to call the police and demands that no one leaves the house until the soulless, black- hearted thief faces the consequences.
John, the youngest Geste brother and narrator of the book is horrified when he wakes up to find that his oldest brother has flown the house. Beau leaves a note for his brothers stating that while he did not take the gem he has deliberately incriminated himself to shift the blame from the others. It is not long before Digby also secretly leaves and in his note to John he reiterates Beau's words swearing he did not steal the gem but he wants to protect the girls from unpleasantness. John is convinced of his two brother's honour and love for Aunt Patricia. However, he has had a niggling doubt about Beau since he found him with his hand close to where the sapphire was last seen. Pushing these thoughts to the back of his mind however, John soon gets into the action and he too uncreatively flees the house hoping to confuse any facts that may put the guilt onto Beau.
Who took the sapphire?
Why take the sapphire?
How can everyone seem so innocent? and
Are Beau and Digby as honourable as they seem?
.......
These two seemingly removed stories slowly move closer together.
Beau, Digby and John reunite as they enlist in the French Foreign Legion in a bid to evade the law that is catching up on them. They have a rosy idea of rolling sand dunes, feisty camels and rollicking adventures against marauding bandits. Ha! They instead endure long marches, blistering heat, minimal food, bloody battles and cruel men who they are fighting against and are also in the Legion. However these brothers are stout fellows and true Brits and they knuckle down to it waving an honourable fist in the rabble's noses while crying 'dignity, always dignity!' They make some true friends and some lasting enemies, especially when rumours abound that one of them is carrying a huge sapphire and every man and his camel wishes they could get their hands on it.
The conclusion approaches as we find that the brothers have been separated. Digby is now a bugler in one company while Beau and John are legionnaires in the company situated at the soon to be ill fated fort of Zinderneuf. The Commander of Zinderneuf, Lejaune, is an evil man reckless of the lives of his men but a brilliant battle strategist. It is not long before his men plan to mutineer against him but Beau and John refuse to join such dishonourable plans. Lejaune also has plans to murder the two brothers and take the gem they are suspected of carrying. Beau and John find themselves trapped between serving their Commandant honourably, while avoiding being killed by him. As the tension between the three parties builds to a climax suddenly the fort comes under attack and everyone must fight together against an enemy that out-numbers them a hundred to one. The security of the fort gives the legionnaires something to work with against the maruaders but it is not enough and Lejaune hatches the plan to prop up dead man at the battlements to confuse the enemy and make their number seem far greater then they really are. The plan works but the battle is still fierce and there are more and more dead men standing at their posts.
In a terrible moment John turns to find Beau fallen. John is thrown into despair and he feels that he is incapable of living when Beau is dead. A new wave of pain washes over John as the marauders retreat to wait for a more opportune time to attack. If only Beau had survived a few more minutes!
John and Lejaune are the only two surviving soldiers of the fort. John is horrified when shortly after the battle concludes he finds Lejaune searching Beau's body for the gem. Lejaune turns his gun on John and declares he will kill John and take the gem for himself when Beau who is in fact only just alive trips Lejaune so he misses John and John kills Lejaunne with his bayonet. John is horrified at his actions and overwrought because of the dying Beau. Beau asks him to carry a letter back to Aunt Patricia and he manages to call John a 'stout fella' before he dies.
When the rescuing legionnaires arrive at Zinderneuf it is Digby as bugler who enters first. He finds Beau's dead body and reunites with John outside the fort on the opposite side to the regiment. The brothers attempt to comfort each other and head off with two friends from Digby's regiment to civilization alone. There is nothing to stay for now that Beau has died. There is more tragedy however and Digby dies along the way in a couragous attempt to save the life of his brother and his two friends. John, at last, crawls into the city a shadow of his former self.
......
Finally, almost dead and with more sorrows then he can count John returns to see Aunt Patricia with the mysterious letter from Beau. A somewhat somber Aunt Patricia reads it to John. It turns out that Aunt Patricia had in fact sold the real 'Blue Water' long before the incident of the theft. Beau overhead the conversation in which she sold it intending to use the money to help the deserving poor. So to protect her from Hector if he should ever find out, Beau staged the robbery. He even went so far in trying to protect her by carrying the damning evidence with him to sand blasted Africa.
What!? Aunt Patricia knew all along that the stolen
Blue water was a fake?
Yes she did. And yet she still threatened, ridiculed, bulled and browbeat her confused and loyal friends, turning them against each other. She refused to share the truth with those who loved her most forcing Beau to make a noble but futile gesture that he paid for with his life and the life of his brother.
Aunt Patricia, you KILLED Beau and Digby, you NINCOMPOOP!!!!! You may not have physically stabbed them or shot them but your proud, self-centered and cowardly actions killed them!! Don't just gently mop your eyes. They will never mop their eyes again because you made a ridiculous decision and then continued on with it and continued on with and continued on with. You had so many chances to fix what you did. Oh, you most frustrating fictional character!!
I am ripping out my hair at the roots in frustration.
I am afraid if I had been John in this book and had come back and heard Beau's letter and seen his Aunt's reaction I would have looked at her, walked out the door and never walked in it again. I hope I might have been able to forgive but I would never be able to go back and act as before. I would never be able to see it from her point of view. Her point of view was DUMB.
Ok. I've almost calmed down now.
The negatives of the book:
- Beau and Digby dying
- The general soul destroying bleakness of life lost in the African wilderness
- The villains of the French Foreign Legion are really very stereotypical villains without much depth
The Positives of the book:
- Very well written
- A good deal of subtle and dry humour
- Suspenseful
- Written about a period in history not generally well known now a days
Should you read this book? Well I have probably ruined it for you now since I have explained the ending. However, if you want to read a heroic adventure book written in an old fashioned style that you will enjoy thoroughly until you have a mental break down in the last chapter due to a sensation of all encompassing rage, I give you my blessing.
Now onto the book. "Modern Phobias - a litany of contemporary fears" by Tim Lihoreau gives a name to some of the modern person's daily fears. Here are some of my favorites: 
