Really? Come on.

Sparkling Cyanide

- Agatha Christie

Be warned, I will be talking about the end of the book.

I like to think that I am an observant person. In fact, I am really just waiting in anonymity until I am plucked from my life of obscurity by MI5 or any special spy force to become their chief of Observations. I would be useless as a normal spy though, because I am not ruthless enough. I can't even invade a country when playing Civilization on the computer because the little computer generated screaming voices rack me with guilt. So I am definitely not cut out to be a "By any means!" person, but sit me down in a crowed area and I could notice and remember a lot of interesting things that are happening and also many very mundane things.

It frustrates me on TV shows when the police are questioning witnesses of a crime and the witnesses are so vague with their answers.

 "Oh yeah," they say, "he was man all right, or actually, perhaps, a tall girl. Yeah, he or she robbed the bank right in front of me, but all I can tell you is that they may have had a hoodie on, maybe. Can't remember anything else about them though."

Come on. Really? 

In the book Sparkling Cyanide by Agatha Christie the murder is finally solved after it is proved that the majority of characters are clod-polls and useless when it comes to anything to do with observation. 

I love Agatha Christie's novels, I think I have read all of them and many of them many times over. I think what keeps on drawing me back to Sparkling Cyanide is the fact that I think I could have solved the mystery on the spot, surely it would have been obvious?

In the novel the real confusion arises when the murderers rely on the characters ability to be observant. Silly murderers. My advice to them, never rely on people to act logical when you want them to most. 

The scenario in brief: There are seven party goers sitting having tea at a circular table in a restaurant. The murderers plan to knock off Iris who is seated next to innocent George. While all the party goers are dancing, one of the murderers slip cyanide into Iris's glass, so far, so good. The jolly dancers return to the table and innocent George quaffs down his drink. He then clutches at his throat and falls down dead. George has in fact died from the cyanide that was placed in Iris's glass. Everyone, including the murderers are shocked. This occurs because a flighty waiter accidentally places Iris's bag one seat further along then where she was originally seated. Iris just makes a bee line for her bag when she returns from dancing thus causing the entire table to move one seat further round then before and George sits down to cyanide surprise while Iris has the "brew that is true".

My problem with this scenario is this; surely, I mean surely, even if your bag was positioned at a different seat you would be still aware that you are facing in a different direction. You would be able to see tables that you hadn't before, people from different angles your whole point of view would have been affected. I can say I certainly would have realised I was in a different place. Is it just me? or are you all nodding your heads and saying "Here, here!"

I love Agatha Christie and I enjoy this book. However, I can't believe that in a group of seven people, no one would notice they had moved places.

Mistress Pat

Mistress Pat is the second novel of a series of two written by L.M.M Montgomery. Pat loves her house at Silver Bush obsessively but what she loves even more is the point in life that she is at. She loves her friends, she loves her loving family, she loves her cats and the secure bubble she lives in. Pat desperately does not want anything to change, but that of course is impossible. Friends die, people marry and move away and Pat scrabbles feverishly for constancy, pushing away her on-and-off fiance Hilary. Pat spends years holding fast to the Silver Bush house insisting to herself that she loves loneliness. Will Pat ever be strong enough to let go and move on?? It sounds so melodramatic.

I surprise myself daily that I enjoy reading books by L.M.M. Montgomery. The main characters are so frothy, floaty and feminine that I would normally scoff at people who enjoy them but here am I trapped in the spell of them. I even collect her books! I don't know why, but I do very enjoy her books. Maybe because they have a simplistic, other worldly charm. However, much as I laugh at them and they can really be very silly at times- sometimes I know the characters are more than a little insane with the strange things they say- hiding underneath the layers of giddy chatter is unexpected clarity of thought and strength of character.

Here are some classic L.M. moments, you chose, are they deep, inane or quirky?

“My life is a perfect graveyard of buried hopes.”  - Anne of Green Gables

“There might be some hours of loneliness. But there was something wonderful even in loneliness. At least you belonged to yourself when you were lonely.” - Mistress Pat

“One can't get over the habit of being a little girl all at once.” - Anne of Avonlea

“If you can sit in silence with a person for half an hour and yet be entirely comfortable, you and that person can be friends. If you cannot, friends you'll never be and you need not waste time in trying.”  - The Blue Castle

“I love to smell flowers in the dark," she said. "You get hold of their soul then.” - Anne's House of Dreams

“Don't be led away by those howls about realism. Remember-pine woods are just as real as pigsties and a darn sight pleasanter to be in.” Emily of the New Moon

“It is never quite safe to think we have done with life. When we imagine we have finished our story fate has a trick of turning the page and showing us yet another chapter.” Rainbow Valley

Beau Geste- The book I love and HATE

Never has a book infuriated me as much as this book.

Even now just thinking about it I can feel every hair on my head standing up in fury! The character I particularly despise can be glad that they will never come into personal contact with me with because I would have much to say to them and that of a very fruity nature. 

I would generally say that I am an understanding and patient person, but here understanding and patience ends!

The novel beings by describing two very different mysteries. The first is set in the wilds of the northern Africa at a military fort and the second, set in the English countryside; involves a close knit, proper and well to do English family.

Let me describe the mysteries for you.

 Mystery 1.

The Commandant of a division of the French Foreign Legions in the wilds of northern Africa receives a message that the nearby fort, Zinderneuf, is under siege by the marauding people of the land. The fort is desperately under-maned and the Commandant sets off at once with his division to try and rescue the besieged legionnaires before they are all massacred. They arrive but from the outside everything seems to be calm and quiet. There is no presence of marauding bandits and no burning fort. The Commandant breaths a sigh of relief until he notices many strange things. There is no sentry on the lookout. The soldier standing at the battlements refuse to acknowledge him and there is no answering bugle call from inside the fort. On closer inspections it is found out that every soldier on duty at the battlements is in fact dead, propped up in position to appear alive. The silence of the fort and the presence of the it's dead protectors scare the Commandant and his men. The bugler volunteers to investigate inside and he is boosted inside. Finally the Commandant also enters the fort after the bugler fails to report back. He finds that everyone in the fort is dead but it is clear the bandits were not able to force an entry. Every man is propped up on the wall except for one man who lies on the parapet with a bayonet in his chest. The Commandant is spooked and confused.
Where are the bandits?
How do dead men prop themselves against the walls?
How did a fort of dead men hold off an encroaching force?
Why is the Commander of the fort the only one dead from a bayonet wound?
Who killed the Commander? and
Where is the bugler who entered but has now disappeared?

Mystery 2.
Brothers Michael (Beau), Digby and John Geste have spent most of their childhood with their Aunt Patricia. She is a kind, childless lady married to a mean, rich man called Hector. While Aunt Patricia would like to help the poor of the region, miserly Uncle Hector holds his finances close to his chest. It is rumoured Patricia only married Hector for the gem he gave her as a wedding present. It is a huge sapphire worth at least thirty thousand pounds called the 'Blue Water'.

The brother's childhood playmates were; beautiful Claudia niece of Aunt Patrica, Isabel, Claudia's companion, and Augustus, Uncle Hector's stuck up and misunderstood nephew. Beau Geste is Aunt Patricia's favorite child and she loves his gentle commanding and moral nature.

One evening when the children are grown up they are all gathered together excepting Uncle Hector. It is requested that the sapphire be brought out to look at and they are all take turns looking and holding it. Suddenly the lights go out and when the darkness lifts the sapphire has gone. Very quickly the mood of the evening turns sour as no one admits to taking the gem and everyone falls under suspicion. Aunt Patricia is at first shocked, and then disappointed and then angry. She threatens to call the police and demands that no one leaves the house until the soulless, black- hearted thief faces the consequences.

John, the youngest Geste brother and narrator of the book is horrified when he wakes up to find that his oldest brother has flown the house. Beau leaves a note for his brothers stating that while he did not take the gem he has deliberately incriminated himself to shift the blame from the others. It is not long before Digby also secretly leaves and in his note to John he reiterates Beau's words swearing he did not steal the gem but he wants to protect the girls from unpleasantness. John is convinced of his two brother's honour and love for Aunt Patricia. However, he has had a niggling doubt about Beau since he found him with his hand close to where the sapphire was last seen. Pushing these thoughts to the back of his mind however, John soon gets into the action and he too uncreatively flees the house hoping to confuse any facts that may put the guilt onto Beau.
Who took the sapphire?
Why take the sapphire?
How can everyone seem so innocent? and
Are Beau and Digby as honourable as they seem?
.......

These two seemingly removed stories slowly move closer together.

Beau, Digby and John reunite as they enlist in the French Foreign Legion in a bid to evade the law that is catching up on them. They have a rosy idea of rolling sand dunes, feisty camels and rollicking adventures against marauding bandits. Ha! They instead endure long marches, blistering heat, minimal food, bloody battles and cruel men who they are fighting against and are also in the Legion. However these brothers are stout fellows and true Brits and they knuckle down to it waving an honourable fist in the rabble's noses while crying 'dignity, always dignity!' They make some true friends and some lasting enemies, especially when rumours abound that one of them is carrying a huge sapphire and every man and his camel wishes they could get their hands on it.

The conclusion approaches as we find that the brothers have been separated. Digby is now a bugler in one company while Beau and John are legionnaires in the company situated at the soon to be ill fated fort of Zinderneuf. The Commander of Zinderneuf, Lejaune, is an evil man reckless of the lives of his men but a brilliant battle strategist. It is not long before his men plan to mutineer against him but Beau and John refuse to join such dishonourable plans. Lejaune also has plans to murder the two brothers and take the gem they are suspected of carrying. Beau and John find themselves trapped between serving their Commandant honourably, while avoiding being killed by him. As the tension between the three parties builds to a climax suddenly the fort comes under attack and everyone must fight together against an enemy that out-numbers them a hundred to one. The security of the fort gives the legionnaires something to work with against the maruaders but it is not enough and Lejaune hatches the plan to prop up dead man at the battlements to confuse the enemy and make their number seem far greater then they really are. The plan works but the battle is still fierce and there are more and more dead men standing at their posts.

In a terrible moment John turns to find Beau fallen. John is thrown into despair and he feels that he is incapable of living when Beau is dead. A new wave of pain washes over John as the marauders retreat to wait for a more opportune time to attack. If only Beau had survived a few more minutes!
John and Lejaune are the only two surviving soldiers of the fort. John is horrified when shortly after the battle concludes he finds Lejaune searching Beau's body for the gem. Lejaune turns his gun on John and declares he will kill John and take the gem for himself when Beau who is in fact only just alive trips Lejaune so he misses John and John kills Lejaunne with his bayonet. John is horrified at his actions and overwrought because of the dying Beau. Beau asks him to carry a letter back to Aunt Patricia and he manages to call John a 'stout fella' before he dies.

When the rescuing legionnaires arrive at Zinderneuf it is Digby as bugler who enters first. He finds Beau's dead body and reunites with John outside the fort on the opposite side to the regiment. The brothers attempt to comfort each other and head off with two friends from Digby's regiment to civilization alone. There is nothing to stay for now that Beau has died. There is more tragedy however and Digby dies along the way in a couragous attempt to save the life of his brother and his two friends. John, at last, crawls into the city a shadow of his former self.
......

Finally, almost dead and with more sorrows then he can count John returns to see Aunt Patricia with the mysterious letter from Beau. A somewhat somber Aunt Patricia reads it to John. It turns out that Aunt Patricia had in fact sold the real 'Blue Water' long before the incident of the theft. Beau overhead the conversation in which she sold it intending to use the money to help the deserving poor. So to protect her from Hector if he should ever find out, Beau staged the robbery. He even went so far in trying to protect her by carrying the damning evidence with him to sand blasted Africa.

What!? Aunt Patricia knew all along that the stolen Blue water was a fake?
Yes she did. And yet she still threatened, ridiculed, bulled and browbeat her confused and loyal friends, turning them against each other. She refused to share the truth with those who loved her most forcing Beau to make a noble but futile gesture that he paid for with his life and the life of his brother.

Aunt Patricia, you KILLED Beau and Digby, you NINCOMPOOP!!!!! You may not have physically stabbed them or shot them but your proud, self-centered and cowardly actions killed them!! Don't just gently mop your eyes. They will never mop their eyes again because you made a ridiculous decision and then continued on with it and continued on with and continued on with. You had so many chances to fix what you did. Oh, you most frustrating fictional character!!

I am ripping out my hair at the roots in frustration.

I am afraid if I had been John in this book and had come back and heard Beau's letter and seen his Aunt's reaction I would have looked at her, walked out the door and never walked in it again. I hope I might have been able to forgive but I would never be able to go back and act as before. I would never be able to see it from her point of view. Her point of view was DUMB.

Ok. I've almost calmed down now.

The negatives of the book:

1.  Beau and Digby dying
2. The general soul destroying bleakness of life lost in the African wilderness
3. The villains of the French Foreign Legion are really very stereotypical villains without much depth

The Positives of the book:

1. Very well written
2. A good deal of subtle and dry humour
3. Suspenseful
4. Written about a period in history not generally well known now a days

Should you read this book? Well I have probably ruined it for you now since I have explained the ending. However, if you want to read a heroic adventure book written in an old fashioned style that you will enjoy thoroughly until you have a mental break down in the last chapter due to a sensation of all encompassing rage, I give you my blessing.

Tintin

In my Viola case I have what you could call a shrine to Tintin except for the fact that I don't actually worship him. It is an A4 collage of all the fantastic moments of 'Tintin and the Red Sea Sharks'. Because of the location of my collage many of my students see it and comment on it and this is where I can see most clearly the separation of the wheat from the chaff.

Positive reactions are always the most appreciated by me and these students and I form a bond of mutual appreciation that can never be broken. Then there are those students who react in a negative way which then brings about a reaction in me and other Tintin fans of hissing, booing and the throwing of rotten fruits. Free speech and respect to these poor students! but my faith in their literary opinion will never be the same.

Why is Tintin awesome you ask? Let me count the ways.

1. He defeats bad guys.
2. He is loyal.
3. He does everything with this great sense of panache.
4. He can drive cars, helicopters, sea planes, tanks and submarines shaped like sharks.
5. He can pretty much wear any countries traditional garb and still look good.
6. He doesn't give up.
7. He is ageless. How old is he really? who really cares? He is Tintin, age does not constrain or dictate to him.
8. He is an optimist.
9. He is funny and adept at dry wit.
10. He fights for the underdog.

I love Tintin!
You love Tintin!
We all love Tintin! and if you don't, quick, turn from your dark ways, and join the cool kids.

Carefree Tintin

Good posture Tintin

Happy Tintin

Informed Tintin

 Intense Tintin

Resilient Tintin

Concerned Tintin

Death defying Tintin

Atmospheric Tintin

Two Tintins!

The Fellowship of the Ring - Part 2

I have finally completed part two of my challenge!

Question: Is it possible to shorten down "The Fellowship of the Ring" to 1000 words? 

Answer: Hmmm, not really but you do get the main idea and it was a workout for my brain.

Writing this has brought back very fond memories of being completely obsessed with Lord of the Rings when I was in High School. While many other girls my age were reading magazines, I was studying the finer details of the lineage of Rohirric kings. So interesting!

At the end I have included one of my favourite Boromir videos. I know not everyone likes Boromir, he is a complex character, but I think he is fantastic! I am starting to tear up already. 

Part Two-

The Fellowship leaves Rivendell.

They travel many days over difficult country.

Crebain, evil crows of Sauron follow them.

Everyone worries about the crows except Pippin who worries about not eating hot food.

Gandalf and Aragon decide to lead them over the Mountain Caradhras.

The mountain dislikes them tramping over it and the Fellowship choose to retreat off the mountain rather than suffer hypothermia.

They must find another route below the mountain.

Gimli is excited about visiting the Dwarves in the mines of Moria.

Everyone else feels a nameless dread.

Finally there is no choice, travel through Moria or be eaten by approaching Wargs.

They arrive at the door but Gandalf has forgotten the password.

General groans are heard.

Gandalf remembers the password.

They dash in just before the doors are stuck shut.

The mines are empty and dark.

Gandalf pretends he knows where he is going.

Frodo thinks he is being followed.

Everyone is on tenterhooks, where are the dwarves?

They find one.

Or at least his tomb, Balin Lord of Moria is dead.

Not a good sign.

Gandalf finds a helpful diary.

The last entry reads “We cannot get out ...drums in the deep... they are coming”.

“Well now I feel more cheerful” says no one.

Suddenly they hear drums.

“They are coming!” says Legolas.

“We cannot get out” says Gimli.

Déjà vu.

Suddenly they are surrounded by Orcs, a Cave Troll and a fiery demon Balrog.

The Fellowship slash and crash their way to the exit, the Bridge of Khazad-dum.

They all make it to safety except Gandalf who takes a lone stand against the Balrog.

“You cannot pass!” cries Gandalf and the fighting duo fall into the abyss.

Aragon declares he will lead as Gandalf wanted and they head towards the Elvish land Lothlorien.

Orcs loiter on the border.

The Elves lead the Fellowship deep into Lothlorien.

Gimli is unsettled by his lingering dislike of Elves.

The Fellowship meets the elvish leaders Celeborn and Galadriel.

They share their story and everyone mourns the loss of Gandalf.

Everyone except Boromir thinks Galadriel is wise and beautiful.

Sam and Frodo peek into Galadriel’s magic mirror and glimpse the world’s possible futures.

They become even more intimidated of their dangerous trip.

“Will you take the ring?” asks Frodo to Galadriel.

“No, say Galadriel, “I would turn into a beautiful but evil-beyond-words dictator”.

It’s time for the Fellowship to leave and Galadriel gives them presents.

The Fellowship is divided about the route.

Should they focus solely on destroying the ring, or stop in at Minas Tirith to help Boromir save his kingdom?

Boromir worries his people are being forgotten.  

They travel by river and are aware of being followed.

Boromir makes his decision, “I will not desert my friends in the Fellowship”.

Frodo and Boromir start to feel the evil effects of the Ring.

Aragon is worried they are conspicuous as a group.

Boromir gets Frodo alone and tries to steal the Ring.

Frodo runs.

Boromir is mortified.

Frodo decides to leave and go it alone.

“Not without me!” says Sam.

The Fellowship is broken. 

Pessimism

I have been doing some deep thinking today.

It was all set off this morning when I was listening to poetry while doing exercise. Poetry and exercise may seem an odd combination to most people but it is just as good as anyway of keeping your mind off the effort involved. Also I can compare my situation to that of the characters in the poems. To me ten more minutes of exercise may seem impossible but it's not like I'm the little daughter of the Sea Captain in the poem "The Wreck of the Hesperus" about to face a fate "on the reef of Norman's Woe!". It's good to keep things in perspective. 

Another poem I heard this morning which was a new one for me was called "The Pessimist" by Benjamin Franklin King Jr. I was very surprised to find out that King was actually writing in the 19th Century as this poem seemed so very modern to me. King is known for his satire and humor in writing so I wonder if he really believed in the darkness of this poem or if it satirical. Hmmmm... something else to ponder.
Here it is:

The Pessimist 

Nothing to do but work,

Nothing to eat but food,

Nothing to wear but clothes

To keep one from going nude.

Nothing to breathe but air

Quick as a flash ‘t is gone;

Nowhere to fall but off,

Nowhere to stand but on.

Nothing to comb but hair,

Nowhere to sleep but in bed,

Nothing to weep but tears,

Nothing to bury but dead.

Nothing to sing but songs,

Ah, well, alas! alack!

Nowhere to go but out,

Nowhere to come but back.

Nothing to see but sights,

Nothing to quench but thirst,

Nothing to have but what we’ve got;

Thus thro’ life we are cursed.

Nothing to strike but a gait;

Everything moves that goes.

Nothing at all but common sense

Can ever withstand these woes.

-King

I find it hard to have sympathy for the speaker in this poem. They seems so very apathetic and blasé. It is as if they are sitting back and pronouncing judgement on life without really making an effort to enjoy it. Get a wriggle on and stop complaining! Maybe life is dull because you are choosing to accept it that way.

Thinking about pessimism made me compare it to despair. This poem is obviously about
pessimism over despair as we can tell that from the title but am I being fair in being frustrated
by the speakers opinion? Is the speaker really having a bad time and should I feel compassionate
towards them? I am going to separate pessimism and despair and say that pessimism is being overly upset about a situation that could be changed, while despair is being overly upset about a situation that cannot be changed. I think the speaker in this poem has the ability to change their mindset. That being said there is a fine line between emotions and it can't always be cut and dried to say that one emotion is being felt without another mixed in with it.

I have collected some excerpts of literary characters either being pessimistic or talking about pessimism. But are they being pessimistic or is some other feeling?? so much greyness! but I really enjoyed coming up with this list.


I. Eeyore- Winne-the-Pooh

""Good Morning, Eeyore," said Pooh.
"Good morning, Pooh Bear," said Eeyore gloomily.
"If it is a good morning," he said. "Which I doubt," said he.
"Why, what's the matter?"
"Nothing, Pooh Bear, nothing. We can't all, and some of us don't. That's all there is to it.""
-A. A. Milne. 

II. Puddleglum- The Silver Chair

""I'm trying to catch a few eels to make an eel stew for your dinner," said Puddleglum. "Though I shouldn't wonder if I don't get any. And you won't like them much if I do."
"Why not?" asked Scrubb.
"Why it's not in reason that you should like our sort of victuals, though I've no doubt you'll put a bold face on it. All the same, while I am a catching of them, if you two could try to light the fire - no harm trying-! The wood's behind the wigwam. It may be wet. You could light it inside the wigwam, and then we'd get all the smoke in our eyes. Or you could light it outside, and then the rain would come and put it out. Here's my tinder-box. You won't know how to use it, I expect.""
- C.S. Lewis


III. Saruman - The Fellowship of the Ring

Saruman: The hour is later than you think. Sauron's forces are already moving. The Nine have left Minas Morgul.
Gandalf: The Nine?
Saruman: They crossed the River Isen on Midsummer's Eve, disguised as riders in black.
Gandalf: They've reached the Shire?

Saruman: They will find the Ring, and kill the one who carries it. 

Gandalf: Frodo-

Saruman: You did not seriously think that a hobbit could contend with the will of Sauron, there are none that can.
Saruman: Against the power of Mordor there can be no victory.
Saruman: We must join with Him, Gandalf. We must join with Sauron. It would be wise, my friend.
Gandalf: Tell me, "friend", when did Saruman the Wise abandon reason for madness? 

IV. Buzz Lightyear - Toy Story

V. Gussie Finknotle- Right Ho, Jeeves

""If there's one thing in the world I can't stand," proceeded Gussie, "It's a pessimist. Be optimists, boys.
You all know the difference between an optimist and a pessimist"...
"Now, there," boomed Gussie, continuing to point, "is an instance of what I mean. Boys and ladies and gentlemen, take a good look at that object standing up there at the back-- morning coat, trousers as worn, quiet grey tie, and carnation in buttonhole-- you can't miss him. Bertie Wooster, that is, and as foul a pessimist as ever bit a tiger. I tell you I despise that man, And why do I despise him? Because, boys and ladies and gentlemen, he is a pessimist. His attitude is defeatist. When I told him I was going to address you this afternoon, he tried to dissuade me. And do you know why he tried to dissuade me? Because he said my trousers would split up the back."

The cheers that greeted this were the loudest yet. Anything about splitting rousers went straight to the simple hearts of the young scholars of Market Snodsbury Grammar School."
-P. G. Wodehouse

You decide whether they are all being pessimists. I think I'm stretching it a bit far for Buzz and Saruman but who doesn't love a reason to watch more Toy Story and Lord of the Rings!

Totally Weird, Insane Rip-off Plus

Teen Power Inc.

- Emily Rodda

Since turning 24 a few months ago I have been asked three times what grade I am in at school.

I have decided to take this as a compliment but it still feels very strange. I don't think I look seven years younger then my age and at none of these occasions was I acting, I think, particularly immaturely. Granted once I had just walked the length of a crowded room with a dirty plastic plate balanced on my head but in context my actions were completely reasonable. I was declared a hero and everyone eyed me with looks of marked appreciation until someone noticed that new nibbles had arrived on the table. Moving on from the nibbles though I have decided my cheerful naivety must be the cause and I make concentrated efforts to seem like a powerful entrepreneurial women when speaking to my student's parents. 

However there are positives that come with looking younger and one of them that I happily cash in on is not looking out of place in the young adults section of the library. I'm living on the wild side! I really like some young adult books. Not the paranormal ones about vampires and creatures of the dead that leave you as an emotional hormonal wreck with fried brain cells but books that have a reasonable story line and are well written.

One of my favorite series of books in late primary and early high school was the 'Teen Power Inc.' series by Emily Rodda. This series is about six normal Australian high school friends who inadvertently solve mysteries through their odd job business. Here are my five reasons why these are quality books.

1. The books have six main characters which means the series doesn't become boring as there can be a different character to focus on through the books.

2. The books portray fairly normal 90's teenagers without making them too saintly or too lecherous. They focus on their personalities rather than their love lives. Their flawed, realistic personalities make them personable and likable. You find yourself working out which character you most resemble or wish you did. Team Tom!

3. These books are exciting! In lots of them the Teen Power Inc members almost die through various sticky situations and my sisters and I would fight to be the one to read them first. 

4. The author Emily Rodda is not a poor writer who has resigned herself to young adult fiction. She is a good writer who has chosen to make more simplistic books interesting and well constructed. 

5. These are books that I will remember reading right through my life and not something that I will forget tomorrow  Exciting? yes, realistic? yes, funny? yes, mysterious? yes, awesome? yes, easy to read? yes, disturbing? no, embarrassing? no.

Also finally because you know you want to...Which Teen Power Inc Character are you?

"We took ages to work out what to put in the ad, and especially what to call ourselves. Nick suggested a name made up of initials, but when Tom started getting silly and suggesting things like TWIRP (Totally Weird, Insane Rip-off Plus) and BUMS (Brainy, Useful, Muscly Stars) he went off the idea.

In the end we settled on Teen Power after all."

The Fellowship of the Ring in under 1000 words! Part 1

I love the Lord of the Rings trilogy! The books, the movie, J.R.R. Tolkien, everything, it is quality enjoyment for one and all. So I decided to challenge myself, can I retell each book of the trilogy in under a thousand words? Originally, I was going to limit myself to less than five hundred but I have realised how ridiculous that would be. 

This is part 1 of the Fellowship of the Ring and so far I have used 530ish words and have only got up to the forming of the fellowship. This is so hard! Let us all be eternally grateful that what follows is not the only copy of the story. 

Part 1

Bilbo the adventurous rebel Hobbit has a birthday party.

Everyone turns up.

Gandalf wielding fun fireworks arrives.

Bilbo skips the party early to holiday with the Elves.

Gandalf convinces Bilbo to leave his special ring with his nephew Frodo. Bilbo is not too pleased.

Everyone leaves.

Rumours of unrest are heard.

Gandalf brings Frodo news of the ring.

Frodo and Gandalf freak out; it’s the one ring of power!

Evil Sauron’s spirit lives on through the Ring. He needs it to gain full power again.

Gandalf worries about proximity of Ring to Hobbiton.

“Let’s take it to the elves” says Gandalf.

Frodo and gardening pal Sam head off to the Elves at Rivendell.

Sauron’s black riders hunt the travelling Hobbits who now number four.

The Hobbits travel into the old forest, mistake; the trees come to life and attack them.

Old Tom Bombadil saves them by singing to the trees.

Tom and friend Goldberry look after Hobbits.

Everyone sings a lot and Tom fills the Hobbits in on some history.

Hobbits leave Tom and arrive at prearranged meeting point for Gandalf at the human village Bree.

Gandalf is a no show and everyone else seems sus.

A tall dark stranger called Strider takes Hobbits aside.

‘You are being really conspicuous’ says Strider. ‘You know the black riders are hunting you right?’

Strider offers to help with travel woes.

Hobbits slit eyes at Strider.

Hobbits receive an old note from Gandalf, ‘actually, also, trust this guy Strider’.

‘Fair enough’ says Frodo.

Hobbits and Strider keep travelling to Rivendell.

The black riders spring them and Frodo gets stabbed with cursed sword.

Frodo teetters on the brink of undead-ness.

The travelling troupe rush faster to Rivendell and medical sanctuary.

An elf called Glorfindel joins them and gallops Frodo to Rivendell followed close behind by Black riders.

Frodo yells at the riders.

Suddenly the black riders are swept away in a strange water current.

Frodo wakes up somewhat healed to find himself at Rivendell with Gandalf.

Everyone gathers at a feast including Bilbo.

Bilbo goes a bit crazy when he sees the ring so Frodo tucks it away.

Elrond, head of Rivendell calls a council and powerful Dwarves, Elves and Humans turn up.

The history of the Ring is told.

Gandalf shares that the powerful wizard Saruman now is on Sauron’s side.

‘Basically, the ring can’t stay in Rivendell, it’s too evil and powerful’ says Elrond. ‘Let’s brainstorm our options’.

Some want to destroy the Ring there and then.

‘Lol, can’t be done’ says Elrond.

Some want to use the Ring for good.

Elrond smirks, the Ring will corrupt anyone who has it so that idea is also scrapped.

The council looks for volunteers to carry the highly powerful, highly corruptive ring deep into enemy land to the only place it can be destroyed Mount Doom.

There is general shuffling of feet.

‘For crying out loud, I will’ says Frodo.

Frodo is joined on the trip by Hobbit chums Sam, Merry and Pippin. Also coming along are Gandalf, an Elf called Legolas, a Dwarf called Gimli, and two men  Boromir and Aragon who was actually Strider.

They give themselves the team name ‘The Fellowship of the Ring’.

Fantastic Poetry #1

Another literary thing I love is poetry. I'm not a big fan of modern poetry that is all blank verse and weirdness but if you go back in history to find poetry from the Romantic and Victorian eras, to me there is nothing quite like it. As a musician I love the music of poetry how it can flow so naturally with a beautiful sense of pulse. Here below is a poem by Letitia Elizabeth Landon, a fairly scandalous poetess from Victorian times. I like how this poem reminds me of poems like 'The Lady of Shalott' but this one has a twist and a bit of a jibe at the melodramatic view of undying love and beauty. 

Poetry is best enjoyed when read aloud so I dare you to do it! You know you want to. Even if you normally hate poetry or are right now sitting in a highly populated area, just sprout forth. It's good to have people think you are insane every once in a while!

The Proud Ladye

Oh, what could the ladye’s beauty match,

              If it were not the ladye’s pride?

            An hundred knights from far and near

              Woo’d at that ladye’s side.

            The rose of the summer slept on her cheek,

              It’s lily upon her breast,

            And her eye shone forth like the glorious star

              That rises the first in the west.

There were some that woo’d for her land and gold,

  And some for her noble name,

And more that woo’d for her loveliness;

  But her answer was still the same.

“There is a steep and lofty wall,

  Where my warders trembling stand;

He who at speed shall ride round its height,

  For him shall be my hand.”

Many turn’d away from the deed,

  The hope of their wooing o’er;

But many a young knight mounted the steed

  He never mounted more.

At last there came a youthful knight,

  From a strange and far countrie,

The steed that he rode was white as the foam

  Upon a stormy sea.

And she who had scorn’d the name of love,

Now bow’d before its might,

And the ladye grew meek as if disdain

  Were not made for that stranger knight.

She sought at first to steal his soul

  By dance, song, and festival;

At length on bended knee she pray’d

  He would not ride the wall.

But gaily the young knight laugh’d at her fears,

  And flung him on his steed,—

There was not a saint in the calendar

  That she pray’d not to in her need.

She dar’d not raise her eyes to see

  If heaven had granted her prayer,

Till she heard a light step bound to her side,—

  The gallant knight stood there!

And took the ladye Adeline

  From her hair a jewell’d band,

Bu the knight repell’d the offer’d gift,

  And turn’d from the offer’d hand.

“And deemest thou that I dared this deed,

  Ladye, for love of thee?

The honour that guides the soldier’s lance

  Is mistress enough for me.

“Enough for me to ride the ring,

  The victor’s crown to wear;

But not in honour of the eyes

Of any ladye there.

“I had a brother whom I lost

  Through thy proud crueltie,

And far more was to me his love,

  Than woman’s love can be.

“I came to triumph o’er the pride

  Through which that brother fell,

I laugh to scorn thy love and thee,

  And now, proud dame, farewell!”

And from that hour the ladye pined,

  For love was in her heart,

And on her slumber there came dreams

  She could not bid depart.

Her eye lost all its starry light,

  Her cheek grew wan and pale,

            Till she hid her faded loveliness

  Beneath the sacred veil.

And she cut off her long dark hair,

  And bade the world farewell,

And she now dwells a veiled nun

In Saint Marie’s cell.

                                                1825

Ordinary Kate

Kate Rider
- Hester Burton

It is 1646 and England is in the middle of the Civil War between King Charles the First and Oliver Cromwell leader of the Parliamentarian army. Kate Rider is the twelve year old daughter of a middle class farmer away at war against the king and she couldn't feel more insignificant and ordinary. It is not that she sees herself as lowly but that she realises what seems to her the smallness of her influence and importance. The Rider is a family of strong willed, opinionated people and Kate's placidity and child like attitude infuriates her mother, brother Adam and sister Priscilla. The only member of her family that Kate really feels she relates to is her brother Ralph who has had to go sea leaving Kate feeling lost at home.

At the beginning of the story Kate is convinced in her views that her father is a hero and that the Parliamentarians are fighting for what is right. However, her foundations are rocked by opposition that comes right from the heart of their family when Adam reveals his Royalist loyalties. The short period of peace in the war and the return of Kate's father in 1647 does not bring peace to the Rider family. Adam simmers with indignation for the King while his father reels in a sense of betrayal. Kate struggles to balance her love for her gentle father with the awe she has always held for her prickly brother. Soon afterwards Adam runs away and makes an unwise marriage to Kate's best friend and their penniless neighbor Tamsin. He and Tamsin are determined to be independent and they hide themselves away in a nearby city leaving two troubled families behind them. Things only grow worse however with a new outbreak of war in 1648 which will for the first time pit the father and son against each other in battle. The final crisis arises when Kate, Adam and Tamsin are trapped in the siege of the Royalist defended city Colchester.

It can be easy to hate a distant enemy. It can be easy to absolutely despise the person who is putting your loved ones at risk.  If there is no real connection with the enemy, no background story or face that springs to mind, blame and loathing can sprout up like a rampant weed. It is not so easy though, when the enemy is your brother, your best friend and their helpless baby. Civil War tears the strongest ties apart as families rip away and turn on each other. Loyalties are destroyed and no matter the outcome there will always be loss and defeat.

By the end of this book Kate without evening noticing the change, through her quietness and courage has become a stalwart of the family. Her love for her family on both sides is focal in the final rebuilding of the family.

I think Hester Burton is a fantastic author because she gives such a personal, revealing view into history by showing events through the eyes of people from the masses rather than through the key movers of the time. Through her books you can see how history effected so many people in such large ways. Kate isn't an important person in history and in this book she has a very small circle of movement and power but she is someone a reader is able to relate to and history becomes real in seeing it through her eyes.


"He [Adam] saw it all she thought. He saw how terrible it was for their father to be out there on Lexden Heath in arms against his son.
'Why, Kate? Why did he go? He must have known that I should be with Colonel Lucas?'
'Because he had to fight for what he thought was right,' she replied bleakly. 
'And so must I, Kate.'
Gone was the pride and exultation of war.
'And so must I,' he said again,
The words were wrung from him in agony. 
She ached for him.
'I think Father understands,' she murmured.
'And Mother? And Ralph?'
She did not know. But that Adam should care what they thought: that Adam torn between his loyalty to the King and his love of his family, should feel so guilty and lost, pulled at her heart. She sat on in the shadows at his side without speaking, overwhelmed with pity."

Bertie

"Jeeves in the Morning"
P.G.Wodehouse

In Ancient History at school I had to write a 500 word essay on whether Alexander the Great had the right to claim that he was 'Great'. Did he just get away with it because he could wipe out your nation if you so much as snickered at him or did he really deserve it? I thought this was pretty deep stuff and I felt very wise as I pondered what made someone 'great'.

Since then I have wanted to write this massive work comparing and contrasting well known or not well known people from all different periods of time and walks of life to see what exactly made greatness. My history obsession really comes out at times like this and I get all excited when I think of whom I would include in my list. So many options! So much discovery! So many factors! But there is one person at least who I can immediately put my 'Charise's Seal of Greatness' on right from the beginning and his name is Sir Pelham Grenville Wodehouse.

P.G. Wodehouse in my opinion vies for the title of best comedy author EVER. Strong words I know but let me tell you about one of his novels, "Jeeves in the Morning".

Character List:

Bertie Wooster- a foppish young man of leisure. He attempts to help his friends out of sticky situations but generally only make them stickier. Bertie is very emotionally affected by the situations he gets himself into. He has a bad habit of getting himself engaged to difficult women.

Jeeves- Bertie's valet. He spends much of his time freeing the young master from terrible scrapes. Jeeves is the perfect servant always giving a sense of calm. It is a commonly held belief that Jeeves knows everything and that the brilliance of his brain is down to the eating of fish.

Florence Craye- a strong minded female authoress who enjoys molding men she thinks are weak minded by making them read improving books. She is engaged to Stilton Chessewright but their relationship is rocky at the best of times. She used to be engaged to Bertie.

Aunt Agatha- Bertie's tough aunt who chews broken glass and offers human sacrifices. Aunt Agatha is determined to marry Bertie off to a domineering woman who will change his flighty ways.

Uncle Percy/ Lord Worplesdon- the second husband of Aunt Agatha and father of Florence and Edwin. He terrifies most people with his commanding presence but he himself is terrified of his wife. He once chased a young Bertie across hard country with a riding crop after finding him smoking in the shrubbery. He is a shipping magnate of great renown.

Stilton Cheesewright- has known Bertie since when they were both at Eaton together. He has a low opinion of Bertie's ability at rowing and feels threatened by Bertie's previous engagement to Florence. Stilton is the police officer at Steeple Bumpleigh and he wishes to remove Bertie by force if necessary from the immediate surrounds.

Nobby Hopwood- a ward of Uncle Percy and a good egg. Nobby enlists Bertie's help as she and Boko Fittleworth try to convince Uncle Percy to let them be married.

Boko Fittleworth- an old friend of Bertie's. He is an aspiring film writer with a bad fashion sense and even worse social presence when nervous. Uncle Percy despises the ground he walks on.

Edwin the Boy Scout- the brother of Florence and the son of Lord Worplesdon. He moves around Steeple Bumpleigh hitting suspected burglars over the head with his scout stick and accidentally setting cottages on fire as he attempts to do his good deeds. Bertie ranks him high on the list of England's Rogues' Gallery.

J. Chichester Clam- an unsuspecting American shipping magnate who stumbles into the hell-hole of Steeple Bumpleigh.

The book begins with Bertie vowing and declaring he will never set a toenail near Steeple Bumpleigh, home of his Aunt Agatha. However, following the pleas of help from his friends Boko and Nobby and with the knowledge that Aunt Agatha is away, he ventures to this picturesque setting. Very quickly though Bertie realises he has made a terrible mistake. Even without Aunt Agatha's presence, the shadow of Steeple Bumpleigh lingers and he is faced with unwanted engagements, broken friendships, violence and the loss of a Sindbad the Sailor costume.

This book is fantastic because Wodehouse is such a great author. It is a light, easy to read book but Wodehouse is a master of description and character writing and while reading it, it is clear this is quality stuff. It is not at all forced, just a genius comedy writer doing what he does best.

Just because they are awesome, some P.G. Wodehouse quotes-

“Freddie experienced the sort of abysmal soul-sadness which afflicts one of Tolstoy's Russian peasants when, after putting in a heavy day's work strangling his father, beating his wife, and dropping the baby into the city's reservoir, he turns to the cupboards, only to find the vodka bottle empty.”

“Mike nodded. A sombre nod. The nod Napoleon might have given if somebody had met him in 1812 and said, "So, you're back from Moscow, eh?”

“It is no use telling me there are bad aunts and good aunts. At the core, they are all alike. Sooner or later, out pops the cloven hoof. ”

“I flung open the door. I got a momentary flash of about a hundred and fifteen cats of all sizes and colours scrapping in the middle of the room, and then they all shot past me with a rush and out of the front door; and all that was left of the mob scene was the head of a whacking big fish, lying on the carpet and staring up at me in a rather austere sort of way, as if it wanted a written explanation and apology.”

“There are moments, Jeeves, when one asks oneself, 'Do trousers matter?'"
"The mood will pass, sir.”

Princess Ben

'Princess Ben' - Catherine Gilbert Murdock

I was at uni one day with a big gap with nothing to do till orchestra started. Boredom set in so I set off on an adventure to my favourite place to go at uni. The bookshop of course! Being a poor uni student I didn't often buy a book but just being in the presence of books, reading the back of them, seeing them, holding them, smelling them was still pretty awesome. I'm really not insane, promise. However on this special day I made a decision to actually buy this book that caught my eye. Surprise, surprise it was 'Princess Ben'!

Before you sneer at me and whisper 'princess girl' behind your hand I am not a crazy princess person. Yes, I do like Disney princess movies but in moderation. When I was little I didn't dress up as a princess with a tutu and lisp about being a beautiful pwincess waiting for my pwince. Instead when my sisters and I played dress-ups I liked dressing as a poor peasant with lots of tatty shawls and weeping about my starving family (still not insane).

Princess Ben isn't like other Princess books. In most 'princess books' the main character is unbelievably beautiful so much so that she is the desire of every man in the kingdom. However, she is not caught up with her beauty because she is so tender hearted, strong willed and self assured that her life goal is grant the wish of every peasant in the kingdom and create world peace. In contrast to this Princess Ben is overweight, prejudiced, caught up with her own problems, stubborn and unteachable. Princess Ben is a princess I feel you can actually relate to. She isn't serene, she is silly. 

This book is hilarious! Ben gets caught up in some ridiculous scenarios and during the book she really has to work hard at growing up and becoming dependable enough to rule the kingdom. In this book Ben has to be taught how to act like a proper polite princess by her cold elegant aunt who Ben hates. If she does not become the ruler the kingdom expects her to be she will be forced to marry the prince who bids the highest. If Ben can sulk her way out of trouble she will do it. 

I love this book!! Read it. 

"The day of the ball was spent preparing me much as one prepares a goose for Christmas, with the same ultimate effect."

Ten

My current favourite ten books:


1. Joy in the Morning - P. G. Wodehouse

2. The Merlin Conspiracy - Diana Wynne Jones

3. The Horse and his Boy - C. S. Lewis 

4. Heir Apparent - Vivian Vande Velde

5. David Copperfield - Charles Dickens

6. Princess Ben - Catherine Gilbert Murdock

7. Bonnie Dundee - Rosemary Sutcliff

8. Howl's Moving Castle - Diana Wynne Jones

9. The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien

10. Twelfth Night - William Shakespeare